"America" and "In the Baggage Room at Greyhound"

The poem "America" by Ginsberg sounds kind of like a list of demands or an ultimatium. Especially when Ginsberg states "I'm sick of your insane demands" (p. 39). Simply put, he is tired of the way America, maybe the government, citizens, or both have caused him to keep his ideas and emotions bottled up. This is a great expression of the times that Ginsberg was writing in. As the poem progresses, Ginsberg gets more and more extreme and tries to define America and the way of life. My favorite line is "Are you going to let your emotional life be run by Time Magazine? I'm obsessed by Time Magazine. I read it every week" (p. 40-41). A few lines before that he says "I refuse to give up my obsession" (p. 40). He is stating that one can still be a true American even though they do not agree with problems that are prevalent in America.

Not much else to say about this poem. I just feel that Ginsberg was tired of being his true self. Maybe he came about in the wrong era.

"In the Baggage Room at Greyhound" is beautifully written. I feel as if that was written yesterday. Not many understand the poverty stricken lifestyle of having to ride the Greyhound. It is not a pretty experience. I love how he describes people's lives by the look of their baggage. His description of the surrounding area is so real. One line really shook me. "nor this trembling old lady with a cane taking the last trip of her life" (p. 44). Many people do not think that when they take a trip it will be their last trip. Just a thought. Then he personifies the suitcases by stating that they were "full of tragedy rocking back and forth waiting to be opened" (p. 45). He mentions everyone struggle: "baggage that's lost, nor damaged handles, nameplates vanished, busted wires, and broken ropes, whole trunks exploding on the concrete floor" (p. 45), but then on the next page he mentions that "the racks were created to hange our possessions, to keep [them] together". I feel that Ginsberg wanted to do better and succeed in his life, and it ended perfectly with him saying "Farewell ye Greyhound" (p. 48).

"Howl" && "A Supermarket in California"

"Howl and Other Poems" by Ginsberg is exactly what I thought 215 would be like. I love abstract writing because everyone has their own perspective as to what everything means.

Part I of Howl has got to be one of the most confusing, yet interesting things I have ever read. It starts by saying that "the best minds of [his] generation [were] destroyed" (pg. 9) and then continues to describe the people and exactly what they did to destroy their lives. The sentence structure for the majority of the poem is "who" referring to the best minds of the generation, followed by, for the most part, a negative connotated verb. The rest of the sentence goes on to describe some destination and some random act of acting out. Before I go on to explain some of the diction I noticed in my favorite parts of the poem, I want to talk about the title. Although everyone knows what howl means, I thought I'd look it up for accuracy. According to the American Heritage Dictionary, the word howl is defined as "a cry or wail, as of pain, rage, or protest". I believe these "best minds" were crying out in order for someone to hear their pain they were facing or maybe even just for attention.

Ginsberg's diction or word choice is quite hysterical. From his sexual references, both hetero and homosexual, to childhood words like "yacketayakking" (pg. 11), I believe he kept the reader's attention in a unique way. Also, he mentioned a huge amount of cities, and I was waiting for a South Carolina city to pop up, to my dissatisfaction one did not arrive. But I loved seeing the "best minds" travel, especially when they "disappeared into the volcanoes of Mexico" and then in then in the next paragraph they "reappeared on the West Coast" (pg. 12). Also on page twelve, they "lit cigarettes in boxcars boxcars boxcars". I loved this repetition. Not sure if this is right, but I think it was to create the illusion of a boxcar train that is connecteed. I don't know, my thought process may be too deep right there. Anyway, also on that page, he mentions that the people are hungry and lonesome and then mentions three things to fix two problems: "seeking jazz or sex or soup". I figured the hunger would be fed by the soup and the loneliness by sex, but the jazz reference?? I guess it is like an addiction like in Sonny's Blues. The next page is filled with sexual and biblical references, which I don't think should be mentioned on the same page, at least not in the way he portrayed it.

Part I also had alot of lines that were associated with vegetarianism versus carnivorism which I thought was quite strange. Lines like "dreaming of the pur vegetable kingdom" and "pluged themselves under meat trucks looking for an egg" (pg. 16) had me perplexed. That's all I wanted to say about that.

My two favorite parts of this poem are the "successively unsuccessfully" (pg. 16) cutting of wrists. I'm not suicidal or anything, but I thought it was perfectly worded. And the other part is on the next page when the author mentions that they "journeyed to Denver, who died in Denver, who came back to Denver & waited in vain, who watched over Denver & booded & loned in Denver and finally went awy to find out the Time". Time is always capitalized wherever it appears in this work. I think it must be very important to those "best minds".

There is a huge tone shift on page 18 when the sentence structure changes. On the next page, six asteriks appear, and I am clueless as to what word, if any, goes there.

Part II was so strange! I looked up the word "moloch" because it is mentioned twenty-one times on the first page. It means "anything that has the power to extract extreme sacrifice" and it is also another biblical reference. Unlike the first part of the poem that was a continuation of one thought full of commas, this part, on the other hand is comprised of full thoughts punctuated with an exclamation part. I cannot say that I completely understand this part as much as the first one, but I know it is filled with much more emotion.

Part III is my favorite and has inspired me to write a poem in this format which I will share at the end of this post. I think this part is just about understanding someone that has the same personality as yourself and feeling that person's pain of being far away ("I'm with you in Rockland") and of having to be locked up somewhere: "where you scream in a straightjacket" (pg. 25). This idea of straightjackets, shocks, and pingpong tables brings to mind "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" by Kesey. I enjoyed this part.

"A Supermarket in California" is on the same level as part III in "Howl". I feel that he relates to Whitman on a literary level, but who knows because he is also in his imagination being followed by the store detective. Anywho, I think Whitman is maybe a role model for him, because he asks him questions like: "Where are we going, Walt Whitman? The doors close in an hour. Which way does your beard point tonight?" (pg. 30). But, I find it weird when he says "poking among the meats in the refrigerator and eyeing the grocery boys" (pg 29). If that was his role model, would he still make fun of him in such a homophobic way? But, I love the juxtaposition of "blue automobiles in driveways" to the "silent cottage" (pg 30). I think this simply means it becomes hard to have an imagination with such distractions of city life. This is well put.

Now, for my version of Part III with the exact opposite meaning of not wanting to be where that person is:

Lost in Birmingham

I'm not with you in Birmingham, the city that gave you life
I'm not with you in Birmingham, where you left to come find me
I'm not with you in Birmingham, where you want me to meet your mother who dislikes me
I'm not with you in Birmingham, where your ugly roots made you the person you are today
I'm not with you in Birmingham, where you committed that crime.
I'm not with you in Greenville, where you found me.
I'm not with you in Colorado, where you lost me.
I'm not with you in Florida, where I became a memory.
I'm not with you in Greenville, where you found me, again.
I'm not with you wherever you are now, and that, only you know why.
Can you find me? Or are you still lost in Birmingham?

-brenda adimora.

My favorite picture of the Birmingham, Alabama skyline. Courtesy of http://www.southernbyways.com/2007/05/more-things-to-see-in-birmingham-alabama/

the glass menagerie scene seven

I did not think the play would end like this! I am disappointed in the ending, but what should I expect in a play about glass--it breaks, right?!

Amanda acted as I thought she would. She entertains Jim and even makes fun of Tom in the process: "as a penalty for your carelessness you can help me with the dishes" (69.16-17). Also, she sort of wants Jim to loosen Laura up by giving her wine as she pretty much forces Jim to go comfort her in the other room. I couldn't help but think what she was laughing at the whole time Jim and Laura were talking. Everyone knows she couldn't have been having a conversation with Tom. Anyway, after she interrupted Jim and Laura she was fine that they were talking until she found out that Jim was engaged. Her tone changed after and even more after Jim left. I thought it was funny when she got mad at Tom for not knowing he was engaged. She claims that she was made a fool of, but Tom did tell her that he just plainly invited him over for dinner and not be Laura's caller. Some of Amanda's last words would be word's I think she may have said to her husband when he was leaving: "You don't know things anywhere! You live in a dream; you manufacture illusions!" (95.18-19) and "Go, then! Go to the moon -- you selfish dreamer!" (96.8). I found it ironic that Amanda was last seen comforting Laura, when throughout the play she was just hard on her.

Tom was being Tom. I was glad he finally got to escape from his trap. I felt as though he may have felt bad leaving Laura, but he thought it might have been good for her personal growth. When he states "blow our your candles, Laura--and so goodbye..." in his final monolague, I feel like he is giving her some hope for the future and basically telling her that he will not be coming back.

I thought that Laura was fooled and that this was too much too soon for her. But, Jim was just simply being the nice guy that he is, so I cannot fault him for that. She really liked him though, I could see that when Jim knocked over her favorite piece of her menagerie, and she didn't even get mad, instead she "carefully places the unicorn in the palm of his hand". I thought it was sweet that he signed her yearbook program and made her comfortable in her own skin. Also, his advice to her about taking a public speaking class is the same advice I think he gave tom.

Not the happy ending I hoped for, but it's realistic.

the glass menagerie scenes 1-6

This was a very easy, comfortable read. I've always wanted to read this play and never had the chance to. It is a tale of a mother and her two children, Laura and Tom. Laura is disabled to the point where she has insecurities. Tom is the provider of the household because his father left the family a long time ago and writes insufficient postcards.

The mother, Amanda, is really stuck in her ways as a young woman. I believe she is trying to relive her youth through her daughter, but her daughter is so much unlike her that she feels disappointed in who she married. She does not want to take the blame for falling for such a man and continues to tell her son to not be like his father, except in one manner: " There is only one respect in which I would like you to emulate your father. The care he always took of his appearance. He never allowed himself to look untidy" (5.38.5-9). I loved the quote in the character list that summed her personality up in one sentence: "She is not paranoic, but her life is paranoia". I cannot wait to see what happens in the final scene as Laura's past love interest gets more speaking time.

Tom, on the other hand is a very frustrated individual. He doesn't like how his mother treats him as if he were a child. Every morning she wakes him by saying "Rise and shine" and in the play he says 'How lucky dead people are!" (3.23.25) to not have to hear her voice every morning. He wants to be a writer, but instead works at a warehouse. He goes to alot of movies and gets drunk because he needs to escape from his life. Hopefully, Jim in the last scene will be able to help him get a better job.

Laura has self-esteem issues that can be seen throughout scene two when her mother confronts her for dropping out of business school. She states that she is crippled all the time; although, the brace isn't so noticeable. She doesn't like her mother forcing her to do things, but she still wants to respect her.

I find this a story of neglect. Amanda wants to help her children so much, but she is only making their situations worse. She does not know her daughter dropped out of school, nor does she remember that Jim is the name of the love interest she had in high school. She is very nonchalant about everything and goes back to selling subscriptions in order to prove how "business-like" she is at the end of a few scenes. I can't wait to read the last scene!

"In Dreams Begin Responsibilities"

With the opening paragraph of "In Dreams Begin Responsibilities" by Delmore Schwartz, I thought of a child stumbling upon old black and white family home videos. Much to my surprise, this man was in an audience. The setting is described perfectly. He tells of his jittery nervous father walking to go meet his mother. I could tell the son was old enough because he knew his father so well: "My father has chosen to take this long walk because he likes to walk and think. He thinks about himself in the future and so arrives at the place he is to visit in a mild state of exaltation" (473.4.1-3).

I love how he captures the awkward meeting of a girlfriend/boyfriend of the other's parents.

I learn how important money is to the family when the mother does not want to go to Coney Island because it is "beneath the dignity [of such a] dignified couple" (475.1.5). Also, the previous mention of a close friend, Howard Taft, the current president, recently getting married gave it away as well. In the next paragraph, he expresses his father's insecurities. His father feels as if he will never have enough money to please the mother and goes as far as to "exaggerat[e] an amount which need not have been exaggerated" (475.2.2). After seeing his father's "actualities somehow fall short" (475.2.3), the son begins to cry exposing his insecurities that maybe his father has passed down to him. I see great irony in the reactions that follow his tears. Supposedly, he is watching a movie about his family prior to his birth and begins to cry, while an old lady beside him with no relation to the family begins to get "annoyed and looks at [him] with an angry face"(472.2.5). His reaction compared to that of the audience doesn't match which is so strange.

He did not want his parents to get married and even yelled out in the theatre that nothing good comes from the marriage: "only remorse, hatred, scandel, and two children whose characters are monstrous" (475.1.18). This tells alot of his personality and how he feels about himself, expressing even more the insecurities he has.

Section five is the most telling part of the whole story. After the couple gets engaged, they want to take a picture. The perfectionist photographer will not take a picture if everything does not "vibe" well. The photographer keeps adjusting and re-adjusting the pose of the couple because "he is not satisfied with their appearance. He feels that somehow there is something wrong in their pose" (477.2.13-14). The father runs out of patience and a sub-par picture is taken where the father's smile is a grimace, and the mother's is fake. Even later the mother wants to see a fortune teller and the father cannot stand it. She ultimately leaves the fortune teller stand and chases her soon to be husband out.

The story ends with the ushers removing the man from the theatre, and he wakes up and its his 21st birthday. I believe this is a story of a very troubled boy that did something horribly wrong in his past, and he is blaming his parents for every creating him. He thinks his parents were not destined to be together anyway because his father had to do so much in order to win over his mother. The title still confuses me. Maybe, he is finding himself responsible for his life now that he is twenty-one years old and can't blame it on his parents less than perfect relationship.

I would remember a name like Myop. As soon as I started reading "The Flowers" by Alice Walker, I knew I had seen this short story before. The first time coming across this story in my junior year of high school before the teacher led us in an in-depth discussion, our class came to the conclusion that Myop was a blind girl who did not even know what she stumbled upon. Reading further though, we saw a completely different story. Being such a beautiful day, one could have never imagined what she would run into that day. Myop was a little African-American girl who went on an adventure one day walking through the woods behind her house. Not knowing of the dangers that may have once existed in her own backyard, the narrator tells the reader she kept a vague "eye out for snakes" (line 15). The story starts to get darker in the fifth paragraph as the reader finds out Myop has travelled further then she usually does. To describe this Walker states that "the air was damp, the silence close and deep (lines 20-21). As Myop becomes uncomfortable and begins to go home or return to "peacefulness" (line 22) she steps into what used to be someone's face. What Myop has found is the rotting body of a tall, African-American male who was lynched and then hung to die in the woods. Evidence of this lynching is given in line 28 when she sees that all his teeth were "cracked or broken". Even more evidence to the hanging are the "rotted remains of a noose" found on the ground or the "frayed, rotted, bleached, and frazzled" remains of the noose left hanging from the tree (lines 32-34). In respect for the man's life, Myop placed down her flowers that she had spent all morning collecting. The story ends with this line: "and the summer was over". This line culminates the poem and brings the theme of loss of innocence to the foreground. This just shows how quickly children had to grow up in the civil rights era. Myop had to acknowledge death and learn to accept it at the tender age of ten while playing in her backyard. If that isn't growing up fast, I don't know what is.

"Girl" by Jamaica Kincaid is simply a mother trying to parent her daughter by telling her how to act like a lady. She is telling her how to do everything from setting tables to "how to make ends meet" (line 30). The mother is consistant with one thing and uses reverse psychology in order to not make her daughter become a "slut" (line 7). As a reader, I thought that if the daughter had anything to say in response to her mother's advice that it would come at the end of one of those lines; instead, the daughter's thoughts, indicated by italicized phrases, only come after the mention of church and the baker's bread. Obviously, the daughter knows that her ways are not loose and brushes her mom's thought of that aside and only reacts to what is important to her. I like this poem. The structure is simple, and it is very easy to comprehend. I believe many girls will eventually hear almost all, if not all, of these life lessons from her mother throughout her teenage years.






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week two. post one. frost.

Before I go on to analyze the Frost poems, I think I should somewhat attempt to do the assignment I missed in class. Here is my poem on public transportation entitled "Closed Minded Walkers"

Us southern folk think God gave us two feet to walk,
and a mind to build a car with. I agree.
Don't be caught using public transport,
unless it's the CAT or something free.

But go to the north, hail a taxi or ride underground
Nobody judges if you don't have a car, that's what I've found.
Travel overseas and the mind is a lot less narrow--
try walking barefoot for miles or catch an overcrowded bus.

Public transport? Hey, I'm a fan.
It's better than riding in your mom's mini van!

anywho...

"Birches" by Robert Frost is considerably long compared to the other poems from last week. But when I recognize the shift in the poem; not only does it make it shorter, but easier to read. The poem starts with an optimistic thinker. Wanting to know how the birches got such bends in it, the man in the poem wishes it was just a little boy swinging on the birches, but then he says "But swinging doesn't bend them to stay. Ice storms do that" (lines 4-5). From then on, I know the man is a realist that has had some problems or storms in his life. It feels as if the man is personifying the birch as himself. As he grew up, he went through many different obstacles, but in the end there was his faith or "the sun's warmth" (line 10) to help him recover from the storm. And he was resilient because even though he was "dragged to the withered bracken by the load" (line 14), he did not "seem to break"(line 15). But as this man sits back and recounts his life, he sees that reality which is personified as "Truth" (line 21), and that is when the shift of the poem occurs. The man goes on to explain that when he was young he lived a carefree life. He loved that life so much that he would "like to get away from earth awhile and then come back to it and begin over"(line 48). I believe this poem was written from a transition stage, maybe like the one I am going through right now. I think I have seen enough of life through death and love to know its rough edges, but know that I have real responsibilities now that I can no longer be the "swinger of birches".

On a lighter note, I found "Mending Wall" quite ironic, because we have recently got a new neighbor in our historic district neighborhood. The first thing she does is put up a wall, dividing our yard. This was not to my mother's liking, because living in historic Greenville for sixteen years, they have always told her she could not put up a wall, only fences. The title of the poem is "Mending Wall", but the only words spoken between the neighbors during the spring when they go to fix the wall are "Good fences make good neighbors". I find that walls are to keep people away from everything, from your personal stuff to your emotions; while fences or boundaries, simply keep people away from your belongings. I love this poem, and my mother does too.

week one. post two.

So, I cannot get an indent to work. Until further notice, an asterik will indicate a new thought.

*When I first put in the link of "In a Station of the Metro" by Ezra Pound, I simply rejected the site seeing only two lines and an author's name on the entire page. After I googled the poem, I finally saw that the poem only consists of two lines- a mere fourteen words. The title alone suggests that the person in the poem was in a subway station which are known to be busy and filled with people. The words "apparition" (line 1) and "black" (line 2) usually symbolize death or something "ghastly" (line 9), a great adjective that Plath uses in her poem "Daddy" meaning pale or deathlike; while a word like "petal" brings to thought ideas of life and color; a stark juxtaposition in such short lines. From this, my understanding is that someone took time to just people watch, my favorite thing to do at the mall. Possibly thinking that everyone would look the same, this person was in shock when he or she found that each person was full of life and unique amongst a crowd that was so dull and monochromatic when looked at as a whole. Like flowers, the people in the station are different colors, shapes, and sizes although they are all on the same "bough" (line 2) or branch.

*The other poem, "Photograph of My Father in His Twenty-Second Year" by Raymond Carver was a little easier to grasp because it was not as abstract. It was also easier to relate to Slyvia Plath's poem entitled "Daddy" merely because they both addressed parental disappointment. Taking apart Carver's poem stanza by stanza, I see in line one the character is somewhere different from where he grew up, maybe even coming home for the holidays since he places his time near the holiday season. Reading on, I see the father's timidity portrayed by his "sheepish grin" (line 3) of his catch illustrating his lifelong goal "to be bold" (line 10). The poem gets better with the last stanza and takes a tonal shift. Until this point, as the reader, I was not aware of the problem within the relationship of father and son. In lines 13-15, the son states "Father, I love you, yet how can I say thank you, I who can't hold my liquor either, and don't even know the places to fish?" With these few lines we learn that father and son are both alcholics and simply put the son is upset that his grandfather taught his father such manly things, but his father never taught him. This is the story for alot of people and it is really sad because one can tell the compassion the boy has for his father.

*The father-son relationship is strong, but one maybe even stronger is that of one of a father and his daughter. In Slyvia Plath's pefectly titled "Daddy" she mentions the same feelings of Carver's character. Plath's character felt scared of her father, more than she even feared God. These poems are all written beautifully.

Letter of Introduction

I loved English throughout high school. I had many great English teachers that made me think diligently about even changing my major. From those years, a few selected readings stand out. Some I liked, others were just not my taste. One descriptive short story that remains in my mind is that of William Manchester, "Blood That Never Dried". I loved this writing. The adjective use jumped from the page as if you were fighting the war yourself. I also liked Tennessee William's "Street Car Named Desire". It pleases me to see that we will be reading more of his work this semester. My favorite memoir is that of James McBride entitled The Color of Water in which he describes his life as the son of a Jewish mother and black father in Harlem. "Civil Disobedience" by Thoreau is a classic in my eyes considering I spent a month justifying it on my debate team. Other books and short stories like The Water is Wide by Pat Conroy and "Shooting an Elephant" by George Orwell, I could have done without. For the most part, I enjoy and appreciate all kinds of writing and would at least consider reading anything.
As far as writing is concerned, I have written everything from haiku poems to research papers. I have also entered a few poetry contests here and there because I feel like my writing is a little different, a little out of the box. I am fortunate that I have had great teachers to help me shape my writing style. My writing of essays and poems has helped me earn quite a bit of money to put towards my Clemson education. I help my sister, a self-proclaimed rapper, with some of her raps just for fun, and I am known to occasionally rant on my facebook status or notes. I have just joined twitter, which I feel was made just for me to talk about random facts of life. I do not see this as a persona, it is just my way of speaking to the world, making myself feel that I am a little more important.
Not saying that I do not appreciate the works of authors before the second World War, but I would much rather read the controversial and contemporary works of the 20th and 21st centuries. I find that these topics are easily debatable which helps me in my political science major. Having parents that are immigrants heavily influences my ideologies and my writing. Like everyone else, I have had different, dramatic life experiences that effect the way I think, which in turn, effect the way I write and read.
Below in my poem entitled "Focus", I describe my first semester at Clemson which was not the university of choice. I show how a typical first semester student manages a roommate situation, parties,the ability to concentrate on priorities, and understanding the new world in which he or she was just placed. I hope you like it.


"Focus"
August: Crushed dreams of not attending Emory or UNC-Chapel Hill. Extreme conservatives that wear orange and purple. Roommate with anti-Obama shirt. Her dad is a farmer. My dad a club owner. Time. Long time. Four years. Focus!
September: Not that bad. Political science class is kicking my butt. Time. Long time. Lifetime. College is not that hard. Focus.
October: Nupetober equals bad gpa. Fall break. Focus?
November: More class. Finals soon? Thanksgiving, yes! Christmastime. What happened to focus?
December: FINALS! Not comprehensive, okay that works. No time. Did I focus?
January: That gpa shows that I did not focus. Time's up. Three and a half more to go. Must do better. Must focus!
-brenda adimora.